Cannes Day 7: “We know Jarad” & Borgman Premiere

Well today started off like any other day:  After a night of partying until 4-something in the morning, my roommate and I woke up at 8am for the morning ticket rush.  There were two big films premiering at the Grand Lumiere today—Inside Llewin Davis by the Cohen Brothers and Borgman, a Dutch thriller by Alex Van Warmerdam.  As I just confirmed today, and had prior suspicions about when other big films were going sold out immediately, the festival badges are structured into seniority brackets.  These brackets are based on number of years attending the festival and how much money you are spending on buying/selling films within the last year.  So naturally, I get shit. CMF is in group 7, meaning there are 6 other groups of people able to reserve tickets ahead of us.  Which sucks—meaning the Cohen Brothers premiere was all but impossible to attend.  So instead, we all chose Borgman.

Idk wtf she is wearing...but it's made out of clothes pins.  After seeing this, we decided that anyone taking pictures of someone dressed up instantly grabs attention, which launched our master plan.

Idk wtf she is wearing…but it’s made out of clothes pins. After seeing this, we decided that anyone taking pictures of someone dressed up instantly grabs attention, which launched our master plan.

Today we spent the morning walking around the Marche and Palais exploring.  Dan acted as if he was someone important, and I followed with my camera; as if shooting a documentary.  It was surprising how much an entorage with camera instantly bumps up your status at the festival.  We just happened to know “Jarad,” who happened to somehow be on the list at every VIP room.  Eventually though, they caught on—and kicked us out of the VIP wine lounge on the roof.

"Oh, do you know Daniel Mall?  He's a big deal.  He knows Jarad, who invited us to the VIP room."

“Oh, do you know Daniel Mall? He’s a big deal. He knows Jarad, who invited us to the VIP room.”

"I'm a documentary filmmaker making a film about Daniel Mall's triumphant return in Cannes"

“I’m a documentary filmmaker making a film about Daniel Mall’s triumphant return in Cannes”

"He's along for the ride."

“He’s along for the ride.”

Oh yea…we ran into Justin Timberlake today.

The guy on the left is the man who created the Toxic Avenger, and TROMA, the movie studio from Long Island that "is the longest running active movie studio that has never had a hit...and never will."  He's hilarious, and actually very well knowledged about marketing your independent films.  I need to read his book.

The guy on the right is the man who created the Toxic Avenger, and TROMA, the movie studio from Long Island that “is the longest running active movie studio that has never had a hit…and never will.” He’s hilarious, and actually very well knowledged about marketing your independent films. I need to read his book.

We got invited to an exclusive party held by the Brazilian film pavilion.

We got invited to an exclusive party held by the Brazilian film pavilion.

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After the Brazilian party, we rushed back to the hotel to get ready for "Borgman."  I knew little about the film going into it, other than the fact that it came from the Neatherlands.

After the Brazilian party, we rushed back to the hotel to get ready for “Borgman.” I knew little about the film going into it, other than the fact that it came from the Neatherlands.

The red carpet at the Grand Lumiere theater was pumping.  This was the most crowded I've seen it since Gatsby...mostly because it was FINALLY NOT RAINING ANYMORE.  Everyone had their best best on tonight because no one knew if it was going to downpour again after.  It was very impressive, and unlike "Like Father, Like Son," they let us actually walk the carpet.  The stars came in after we did, and they televised their entrances on the big screen while we took our seats.

The red carpet at the Grand Lumiere theater was pumping. This was the most crowded I’ve seen it since Gatsby…mostly because it was FINALLY NOT RAINING ANYMORE. Everyone had their best best on tonight because no one knew if it was going to downpour again after. It was very impressive, and unlike “Like Father, Like Son,” they let us actually walk the carpet. The stars came in after we did, and they televised their entrances on the big screen while we took our seats.

I really enjoyed Borgman.  Naturally, like every film that I've seen so far here, the Morrison Narcolepsy gene kicked in, and I once the lights went down, I was out.  I only missed about 10 minutes, then my body jerked me awake and "Sleepy Zack" was good to go.  The film was hilarious.  It was about a quirky cult who was looking for a new hideout, so they plotted to basically take over this residential home.  They infiltrate the home by killing the gardner and then filling in as his replacement.  The comedic timing of the events was perfect.  Punches thrown, smash cuts after punchlines, and hilarious freak-out moments.  I loved it.

I really enjoyed Borgman. Naturally, like every film that I’ve seen so far here, the Morrison Narcolepsy gene kicked in, and I once the lights went down, I was out. I only missed about 10 minutes, then my body jerked me awake and “Sleepy Zack” was good to go. The film was hilarious. It was about a quirky cult who was looking for a new hideout, so they plotted to basically take over this residential home. They infiltrate the home by killing the gardner and then filling in as his replacement. The comedic timing of the events was perfect. Punches thrown, smash cuts after punchlines, and hilarious freak-out moments. I loved it.

Afterwards, we went to karaoke.  It was classic.

Afterwards, we went to karaoke. It was classic.

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